


Crashed

by frantic65



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frantic65/pseuds/frantic65
Summary: Jack Twist moved on with his life after his summer on Brokeback Mountain with Ennis Del Mar....or did he?





	

_Well I was moving at the speed of sound._  
Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around.  
Didn't know that I was going down.  
Yeah, yeah.-----Crashed by Daughtry 

My summer of love ended abruptly when the fickle mountain weather decided to take a change for the worse come mid-August.  
We had been insatiable once we’d finally started fucking. Ennis would ride into camp at random hours of the day or night, and we would usually drop to our knees right on the spot, devouring each other like we had been starving for our entire lives. 

I would do the same, usually making an appearance in the upper meadows around mid-day, overjoyed at how Ennis’s face would light up when he saw me. The man rarely smiled, even for me, but when he did it was pure sunshine.

I took to bringing lunch with me, and we would sit there together, enjoying a picnic and each other. There were only two basic needs we had in those days; eating and fucking. The order in which we did them was unimportant.

But like my mother told me many times; all good things must come to an end.  
Not two days after we awoke to several feet of summer snow, the word came from Aguirre that it was time to bring down the fucking sheep. He said it was because more heavy snow was on the way, but I figured it was more like he saw the chance to save himself some money, since whatever he didn’t end up using to pay me and Ennis would just be a bonus for his ugly ass. 

I also had the feeling that he may have had his suspicions about what extracurricular activities we were getting into up here on his mountain. He was the sort that wouldn’t have cared if we were humping the sheep 24/7, but the thought of two men rubbing each other off way up in the middle of nowhere was about as perverted a thing as he could imagine. 

Could be he just enjoyed watching, but was too mean and chicken shit to admit it, although honestly that possibility just made me feel plain nauseous.  
What I did know was that Ennis was not gonna be happy at the turn of events. He was counting on the money even more than I was, and that boy had already had about as much bad luck as any soul should be expected to encounter in a lifetime. At least Aguirre had slithered back to his lair before Ennis came down to see me for a little afternoon delight.  
It went even worse than I’d expected, and instead of convincing Ennis to spend the extra time we now had taking a little road trip together until he was due to check in with his future ball-and-chain, I was nursing an unattractive shiner, and watching the most important person in my life disappear in the rear view mirror of my shit ass truck.

_Where I've been, well it's all a blur._  
What I was looking for, I'm not sure.  
Too late and didn't see it coming. 

So I continued on my journey, unexpectedly alone, yet still hopeful that Ennis might have some doubts about settling down with a woman after time and distance had a chance to put things in perspective for him.

I spent most of that first year back home with my parents in Lightning Flat. I was miserable, and my daddy worked me like a slave, while my momma tried her best to keep the peace. But come late spring, I hauled ass back to Signal in the hopes that Ennis would be there waiting to continue on where we’d so rudely been interrupted.  
Yet all I found in Signal wound up being Joe Aguirre with a sneer and a stick up his ass, sending me on my way frustrated and with no idea how to even go about finding Ennis. The writing seemed to be on the wall, and I decided that if I couldn’t have the man of my dreams right now, I was sure as hell gonna have some fucking fun instead.  
That began my two year adventure on the rodeo circuit, where I made enough money to survive, with enough left over to drink myself and occasionally a companion under the table. 

I preferred male companions to women, but scoring with a man was a precarious endeavor when surrounded by rugged macho cowboy types who’d as soon kill you as fuck you if made a wrong move. It’s not that they were uninterested in my company, but like everything else, it was the way things appeared to others. Being different was not a trait to be known for among men who courted broken bones and worse for a livelihood.

But most of the time, it was just easier with women. There was no stigma attached to losing yourself in the soft, warm and perfumed embrace of the women who inevitably were drawn to the drama and excitement of the rodeo. I found women liked me too, and often I sustained a certain friendship with many of my former one night stands. I could talk to them about missing my mama, and I discovered that most women, even those who were working girls, loved mothering a young man like myself. 

I never forgot Ennis, though. He was always there, often appearing in my restless dreaming, especially on nights I was unable to find other arms to hold me. Then, as the circuit made its way through Wyoming, I started thinking I spied him among the spectators, several times losing my focus and winding up face first in the dirt, scrambling across the arena to the safety of the sidelines, only to realize there was no one in the stands that even came close to the rugged handsomeness of Ennis in my eyes.

Most of them nights, I spent maudlin and practically weeping into my cups at the nearest bar, full of regret at what might have been for us, if the world we lived in was different.  
I would always stick with women for weeks after one of those episodes, too broken up inside to take the chance of allowing myself to feel the hard, lean strength of a man’s body against mine, taking me in a way that never compared to what I had felt with Ennis. 

Days began to converge into weeks, and before I knew it, I was on the cusp of my third season with the bulls. I’d had my share of broken bones to go along with my broken dreams, and I began to realize in that way that becomes inevitable to all youth at one point in their lives, that I wasn’t bulletproof, and that someday, perhaps very soon, I might take the fall that would end my bull-riding career for good, leaving me with very limited choices for my future; all that held no appeal for me whatsoever. 

About that time, I ran into a feisty little filly named Lureen, and I began to see another option that wouldn’t end with me crawling back to Lightning Flat, tail between my knees.  
Now, aside from being easy on the eyes, and one hell of a barrel racer, Lureen for some rebellious reason, decided that I was the perfect rodeo fuck-up to drive her daddy insane. We had a good time for sure, closest I came to forgetting about Ennis was when she was riding my cock every night for two weeks in the back of her daddy’s car. 

Her plan to piss off her papa worked a bit too well unfortunately, and she wound up pregnant. I ended up with a steady job, and a shot gun wedding. So much for worrying about making choices! 

My son, Bobby, was born the following winter, and I suddenly found myself selling tractors, bored as hell and completely cut off from my footloose and fancy free fuck whatever floats your boat days at the rodeo. 

L.D. Newsome thought I was some gold digger who stole his daughter’s virginity and set my sights on the Newsome family fortune. Truth was, Lureen was an oversexed and spoiled Daddy’s girl, who soon lost interest in me after I’d done my duty, and given her the heir her daddy wanted so bad he could taste it. Sweet little Lureen quickly moved on in her quest for fresh meat, leaving me blue balled and desperate to reconnect with the one person who had ever given a shit about the real me.

_And then I crashed into you, and I went up in flames._  
Could've been the death of me, but then you breathed your breath in me.  
And I crashed into you, like a runaway train.  
You will consume me, but I can't walk away. 

I had way too much free time, feeling like I had been delegated to the background, Mr. Jack Twist-Newsome, sperm donor extraordinaire, kept around to dust off for holidays and special occasions. It was near impossible for me to make any friends who weren’t also friends of my in-laws, and then I was only tolerated, not being native to the great state of Texas. 

I started thinking of Ennis all the time then, reliving every moment, every heartbeat together, every touch and caress we had ever shared. I remembered him mentioning a town named Riverton, and taking a chance that he was as constant as the Northern star, and in an act of pure desperation, I sent him a postcard, general delivery. 

The day I got an answer back had been for shit at work, with L.D. undermining me in front of one of my best customers, and reassigning the account to some hot shot college boy, friend of the family. It was bullshit, and would probably cost me a pretty penny in commissions, but he loved to show me who was boss. Sanctimonious old coot.

I found the postcard on the catch-all table in the entry hallway, the spot where keys, mail, and other miscellaneous shit got dumped due to its location closest to the front door. It was buried under two days worth of sales circulars and junk mail, obviously not impressing Lureen enough for her to bother to give it to me personally. 

I traced the front of the card gently with my fingertips, before eagerly flipping it over to see Ennis’s reply. I laughed out loud at the two word message, both inviting me to visit and saying nothing at the same time. Definitely the man of few words I remembered from four years ago, yet I wasn’t disappointed in the least, because I knew how deeply those still waters inside of him really ran. My hope was that he would be willing to pick up where we had left off; this time in a more permanent way. 

I had no trouble fitting the time into my schedule. I simply told Lureen I had lined up a few potential customers in Wyoming and Montana, and that while I was there I was gonna meet up with an old fishing buddy, and maybe swing by my parent’s place since I rarely made it up to their neck of the woods. I actually invited her to come with me so Bobby could meet his grandparents, but that suggestion was met with such a horrified glance, I was sure I could be gone for a month or more before she’d recover enough to even start to look for me.

I don’t know what I was really expecting Ennis to do; leave whatever he had built in the past four years behind to run off with me? Well, maybe in my most secret dreams, but I knew that most likely we would head out and have a few beers for old time’s sake, best case finding a place with a little privacy so we could revisit our unique kind of friendship.  
So by the time I pulled into the parking lot of the crappy little building Ennis obviously called home, I was feeling sick to my stomach, and had just about convinced myself that I was in for a disappointingly awkward reunion that would only prove that Ennis had moved on and was only being polite to an old buddy by agreeing to see me. 

_Somehow, I couldn't stop myself._  
I just wanted to know how it felt.  
Too strong, I couldn't hold on. 

 

Fucking hell but he took my breath away when I saw him again, rendering me speechless and utterly destroyed by the joy and relief that spilled from his face as he wrapped me in a bear hug the moment his feet hit the concrete. 

We may have parted on less than stellar terms, but once he touched me again, I was overwhelmed by the scent and feel of his body against mine, his heat igniting a passion and longing that I realized I had never been able to duplicate in four fucking years of searching. 

I was addicted to this man, and regardless of what anyone else might think; we belonged together. 

He shoved me into a semi-private alcove near his apartment, surrounding me with his essence, possessing me permanently with a soul-searing kiss that left me breathless and reckless and…sweet Pentecostal Jesus…wanting nothing less than everything from him…wanting forever.

He took me upstairs, lips bruised, limbs shaking from emotions I had never felt before, not even on the mountain, and introduced me to his wife. Fuck knows what I said to her, my senses were attuned only to him, in extreme danger of self-immolation from flying so close to an Ennis DelMar momentarily free of the rigid self-control that normally guards his heart and soul. 

I’d fallen headlong into loving Ennis for the second time, even though it was doubtful there would ever be a soft place for me to land.

_Now I'm just tryin' to make some sense_  
Out of how and why this happened.  
Where we're heading, there's just no knowing. 

And there you have it, the end of our beginning or the beginning of our end. 

I was ready to throw all caution to the wind once I had him in my truck that day, just keep on driving, maybe heading across the border to Mexico. Warmer climate, cheaper living, everything we needed plus tequila and white sands and sunshine. 

We’d save up for a few years, then head back into the States, and buy ourselves a place…something small…but ours.

Ennis shot me down right from the start though. He’d fallen in love too…with his daughters. No way he was gonna leave them for me, and that was a hard pill to swallow.  
I loved my Bobby, don’t get me wrong, but I was pretty sure Lureen’s daddy wouldn’t mind if I just dropped in once in a while, so long as I was discreet, and didn’t try to take Bobby away from his momma and grandmamma. I’d done the bulk of my job there as far as the Newsome’s were concerned, and I knew Bobby would never want for anything.  
Ennis, though, he was living from hand to mouth, and there was no way he was gonna abandon his wife and his girls, to go off and shack up with me.

We were together for three nights, and before we parted ways we’d made plans to meet up three or four times a year from then on. We would be fishing buddies, making plans via postcard since Ennis didn’t have a phone and wasn’t likely to be getting one anytime soon. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but I now that I’d found him, I wasn’t about to let him slip away again.

Apparently, I’d missed the window of golden opportunity where he was concerned four years ago, but he was still the best thing I’d ever known, and when he offered an alternative, I jumped at the chance, deciding in a New York minute to accept whatever he was willing to give me, not realizing at the time, how difficult it is to survive on crumbs.

_And then I crashed into you,_  
And then I crashed into you,  
And I crashed into you,  
Like a runaway train.  
You will consume me,  
But I can't walk away. 


End file.
